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Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are far more common than you might think. In fact, one in five people have had an STI in their lifetime, and it only takes one sexual encounter to contract an STI. And despite the name, it is possible to contract an STI through nonsexual contact.
But dating, love, and sex can still be fun, exciting, and fulfilling with a positive STI status. What’s most important is to practice self-compassion if you’re diagnosed, and practice safer sex to prevent spreading STIs to your partners.
We spoke with Dr. Gary Schoolnik, an attending physician in internal medicine and infectious diseases, about how to have a fulfilling sex and dating life with a positive status.
Schoolnik encourages people to understand that STIs are not only common, but many are curable. Getting regularly tested is the first step in preventing spreading STIs.
“First, STIs happen – they are common, and most are curable,” Schoolnik says. “Do not let shame or embarrassment prevent you from following proper STI testing guidelines.”
While you may be concerned that you will test positive, it is essential that you know your status. Unfortunately, dating without knowing you have an STI doesn’t mean that you are not infected. It only means that you won’t know if you are passing an infection to your partners. Also, left untreated, you may develop another health condition that is more difficult to treat.
If you have not gotten an annual screening for STIs because you’re fearful of the results, there are several things you can do to help ease the fear and anxiety. Begin by remembering your feelings are normal and consider these steps to help you feel more in control.
1. Reframe How You Think About an Annual Screening
Instead of thinking about your annual screening as a problem, consider thinking about it as a problem-solving strategy. If there is an issue, then testing will reveal it. You can then address and solve it. If the results are positive, then it’s best to take action as soon as possible.
2. Ask for Professional Advice
Knowledge is power. Uncertainty and anxiety are often the consequence of a lack of knowledge. Take the time to speak with a healthcare provider (HCP) who can provide you with the information you need to make an informed decision.
“Having an undiagnosed STI is much more dangerous than finding out that you have one and working with your HCPs to take the proper test and treatment,” Schoolnik says.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Pay attention to your present thoughts and feelings, without contemplating what the future may hold. For some, this can improve mental health and reduce anxiety and fear about a positive status.
When you pay attention to the world around you in balance with paying attention to yourself, it may help take your mind off your internal stress and anxiety. If doing this makes you feel worse, consider the next tip.
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